Media365
I recently chanced upon the fact that October 16 is celebrated as Boss’s Day in the United States. One website even had suggestions for gifts employees could give their bosses to show their appreciation.
That set me thinking about bosses, my own over the years, my husband’s and those I know almost as well through friends’ stories. Good bosses are remembered fondly, but the difficult ones are recalled in much greater detail. Years later, an obnoxious boss can return complete with the voice, the expression and sometimes the exact words. So, perhaps, Boss’s Day is a good time to remember them and the part they played in shaping us.
What makes an obnoxious boss particularly difficult is the unpredictability. You never quite know what you are walking into. Something perfectly acceptable yesterday can provoke irritation today. A matter that has been lying peacefully for days can suddenly become desperately urgent because someone higher up has asked for it. You may even be asked why it has not been done when this is the first time you are hearing that anybody wanted it.
Soon you learn that doing the work is only part of the job. The rest is reading the room. Has someone called? Has something happened upstairs? Is this a good day to raise that proposal or should it enjoy another day of peace in the file? Without quite meaning to, you become rather good at forecasting the weather indoors.
Criticism is usually plentiful. Feedback requires more effort. One has to explain what went wrong, what worked and what could be done differently. Criticism is simpler. Something is wrong, you are told so, and the rest is left to you.
A small mistake can grow beautifully in company. What could have been corrected quietly in two minutes may take 20 if there is an audience. Add an uncertain temper and before long, part of your working day is spent not on the work but on anticipating the reaction to it.
Opinions can be equally flexible. A proposal may be perfectly sensible until someone higher up dislikes it. By afternoon, defects invisible in the morning have appeared. Curiously, the change of mind is rarely presented as a change of mind. Somehow, the proposal was always flawed. And perhaps that explains it. The boss who is formidable with those below can be wonderfully accommodating with the person above. A suggestion from a superior becomes an instruction as it travels down and usually acquires a deadline somewhere on the way. Saying no is not necessarily difficult; it just seems to depend on who is asking.
When things go well, the boss is happy to represent the team before the chief. When they do not, the people who handled the matter suddenly discover the benefits of direct communication. Credit rises quite easily while blame generally finds its way down.
Transfers require very little discussion. Nobody actually has to threaten one. A passing reference is enough. The country is large after all, and a great deal can be conveyed without saying anything that anyone would particularly want recorded.
Over time, people become cautious. They learn when to speak, how strongly to disagree and when to let a perfectly reasonable point die quietly. The boss may then complain that people lack initiative, without quite noticing how carefully that initiative has been trained out of them.
That, to me, is the difference. A demanding boss can make people better at their work. An obnoxious boss often makes them better at handling the boss. The odd thing is, from a distance, some of this can look quite impressive. Anger can look like authority, certainty like competence and relentless fault-finding like high standards. Up close, it is just vanity, insecurity, distrust, the need to impress and the reluctance to accept blame, all very human weaknesses. Authority simply gives them more room.
And these bosses are everywhere. Private organisations, public offices, universities, hospitals, anywhere really, where one person reports to another. They come in all shapes, sizes, genders and designations.
We are very quick to recognise these qualities in the person above us. Whether we recognise them as readily when some authority comes our own way is another matter. The true test of having survived an obnoxious boss is not whether you remember one. It is whether others remember you the same way.
The writer, an IRS officer, is official spokesperson, Central Board of Direct Taxes, New Delhi
