Everyone Was Staring At Me

A 35-year-old man of Indian-origin who resides in Birmingham has claimed that he was denied service at a London cafe due to his appearance. Notably, Amit Ghose has a rare genetic condition causing facial disfigurement. According to a BBC report, he described the experience as distressing, saying that everyone in the cafe was staring at him, making him feel like a “ghost”. 

“The person serving looked at me and said: ‘Oh, we’re not serving any more’. She turned around and walked off. But clearly, clearly they were still serving,” Mr Ghose told the BBC.

Mr Ghose was born with Neurofibromatosis type 1, a condition causing non-cancerous tumours to grow along nerves. After embracing his facial disfigurement, he now visits schools to share his inspiring story, encouraging children to embrace their unique identities. Another recent encounter with abuse motivated him to self-publish a children’s book, Born Different.

“I had a couple of individuals come over to me in a park and ask me what happened to my face, and I thought they were just being curious. But actually they started laughing, giggling, saying: ‘Oh my God, if I had a face like you I wouldn’t even come out of my house’.”

Mr Ghose underwent surgery to remove his left eye at 11, resulting in facial disfigurement. He faced relentless bullying and abuse, including a hurtful comment from a classmate before Halloween that left a lasting impact. The remark made him struggle with self-acceptance, leading him to hide his face and feel uncomfortable showing it to others for a long time. 

Playing cricket at school became a turning point for Mr Ghose, allowing him to connect with others and build friendships. Through the sport, he was able to redefine himself, shifting focus from his appearance to his skills and passion for the game. 

As an adult, he continued to face intrusive reactions to his appearance, including constant staring, pointing and whispered comments from onlookers. “The pointing, the tapping the friend next to them saying ‘have you seen that guy’s face’, that is also constant,” he added.

Mr Ghose’s wife, Piyali, helped him learn to accept himself, encouraging him to share his story on social media. Despite initial hesitation, he started a TikTok account in early 2023, gaining nearly 200,000 followers and millions of likes. By sharing his experiences, Amit became more self-accepting and confident. He transitioned from a law firm job to full-time motivational speaking, prioritising helping young people. 

“Disability or no disability, visible difference or no visible difference, we all have insecurities, we all have things that we’re faced with, and challenges we’re faced with. I just want to give this narrative to people that if we truly celebrate who we are, accept who we are, fall in love with who we are, then we can be more confident,” he said.